My best motto for anything in life is “everything is as it will be”. This sounds like hippy, airy-fairy nonsense, but to me makes sense and is applicable to all situations (so far). It’s something that I believe in to get me through hard and confusing times, and to help get a grasp on my meaning of most life events. Not everything that happens can be explained, and that is why I’ve found that it helps to believe that everything does happen for a reason (even if the reason is not immediately evident yet). I know that some find this concept impossible to accept, like why does a good child die for no reason. The reason for disastrous events appear un-explainable, but what people forget to look at, is the big picture as a whole. Perhaps an uncalled for death causes an awareness in a much larger group of people and thus saves the lives of many. For the actual people involved in this situation, the reasons and the goodness caused but a terrible event may go unseen for the rest of their lives, but that doesn’t mean that they are not there. I can’t really go on experience of losing someone close to me in an unfair way, but I hope that by believing and applying this concept to every situation of my life, that one day when “everything is as it should be” needs to be truly relied on, it will be my crutch and support.
A tough and negative job or relationship (whether with a friend, lover or family member) could get worse and worse, and you could think, “why me?” and “this is so unfair”, but that is the first step to push you in the right direction of making a change and understanding that you deserve better. A terrible job could be the cause of you finding your dream career. An abusive relationship, whether physically, emotionally or mentally, could eventually cause the realisation and the push that you need, in order to find your true love. A manipulative or negative friend that seems to suck the life from you, could be the one that introduces you to your future soul-sista (or soul-bru).
This negative feeling could be the key for pushing yourself to figure you what you really want. This negativity may feel all-consuming and like you are spiralling into a deep pit of sorrow, but like everything in life, nothing lasts forever. This feeling of distress in your current situation should fuel your desire to get to something better, as soon as possible. Instead of dwelling in a crappy situation, show the universe that you are better than that and prove your old self wrong.
And I know many people will say “well that’s easy for you to say” or “not everyone can apply that to their lives”. And I know this feeling- I’ve said those phrases more times than I can even count. But I think is comes down to the realisation of the situation. Once you realise that you deserve better, then that’s already a step in the right direction (even though the road is still very long). It may also feel so overwhelming to come to this realisation and when you start to look down this long road, you get even more overwhelmed (I know because this happened to me last week). Once you realise that something needs to change and you start looking openly at all different options, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to figure everything out immediately. You actually need to take time to accept and appreciate the new changes that are about to happen. You need to “get used to” the fact that things are about to change. Take a long walk in nature, take a long drive somewhere beautiful, spend time with someone that builds you up the most that will take your mind off everything for a bit, or better yet, head somewhere new and adventurous for a weekend or even a night (not even expensive- camping will do). Just get out of your head a bit. A new environment will put life into perspective and perhaps help you realise that you aren’t the centre of the universe and that life is sometimes much bigger than your problems. This new environment will also help you see your changes in a different perspective than your bedroom/kitchen/living room. Once you have managed to feel more “used to” the fact that you need to make changes and give yourself a mental break, you will most probably feel calmer and clearer, and will feel like good decisions come to you easier. Breaking up your next moves and goals will also make taking on life feel easier and more organic.
These are all things that I know that I need to apply to my own life, and am working through it slowly. While speaking so friends, family and other helpful souls, I see that other people are all going through the same emotions, road bumps and confusions that I am, and that in itself is calming too.
A friend once said to be “be less kak, be better”. I think all people ever living on earth need to take this concept into their lives. In whatever thing you do ever, be less “kak”, less negative, less selfish, less jealous, less obnoxious, less damaging; “be better”, be grateful, be helpful, be understanding, be healthy, be calm, be peaceful, be thoughtful, be mindful and aware, and be more of what the world really needs. If you work to “be less kak, be better”, then trust that the universe will allow “everything will be as is should be” in your favour.